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I don't have much negative to say about our agency's junior designer Walter; he's an amiable coworker and he knows his way around Photoshop and Illustrator. Occassionally we argue about my preference for Freehand over Illustrator, and I can't take him to meetings because he says things like, "My dog smells like cheese." to clients, but for the most part we get along fine.
If pressed to find fault with Walter, I'd have to say his written communication skills could do with some work. He once sent me an email, marked urgent, stating, ‘Have you got because onions?’ It was a Friday afternoon and he’d left by the time I read it and replied with, ‘Have I got what because onions?’ The question bothered me for the entire weekend. On Monday, I received the response, ‘never mind tactics’ and a few seconds after that, ‘tictacs.’
Also, you can't really tell from the photo above, but Walter's neck is approximately twelve feet long. From behind, his head looks like a Yorkshire Terrier impaled on a stick.
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Pay
Did you know Jodie gets paid more than me? Do you think I should say something to Mike?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 9.19am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Pay
Walter,
I’m surprised you haven’t already kicked in Mike’s door and demanded an explanation. Apart from Jodie having worked here a lot longer than you of course.
How do you know Jodie's income?
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date:
Monday 17 August 2015 9.25am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Pay
I saw what jodie gets on Melissa’s screen when she was making coffee. I should be making more than Jodie the fat bitch doesn’t even know how to use photoshop. I’ve got a degree and she hasn’t got shit.
Mike is in a meeting or I would have. Should I just ask for a raise or should I say I know what Jodie gets and I should be getting the same as her?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 9.36am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Walter,
You might be doing yourself a disservice by equating your worth. If I were you, I’d demand a minimum 20% over Jodie’s current wage - unless of course you doubt your skills are 20% greater than hers.
That way, when Mike talks you down to 10%, you still come out on top.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
My skills are 2000% greater than Jodies. She doesn’t know anything. What if he says no?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 9.52am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Walter,
Why would Mike say no? If you provide a list of the strengths you bring to the company, perhaps through a Power Point presentation, it would be illogical for him to say anything of the sort.
I’d keep the list short, say five bullet points, to avoid repetition and diffusion. Focus on strengths that you feel confident discussing further if prompted. It’s pretty standard stuff.
Also, I’d strike while the iron’s hot. I know Mike has meetings all day but he breaks for lunch at twelve so that would probably be the best time to catch him. Do you think you could have a presentation ready by then? It shouldn’t take you long to set up the projector.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 9.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Just a single screen or a presentation?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 10.04am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
A five-screen presentation with animated page swipes and ‘boing’ noises would obviously best showcase your talents, but, as you only have a couple of hours, I’d suggest content and layout as priorities.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Something like this?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 10.38am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Looks good. I’d make the key words (paid, degree, experience, quickly, unattended, knowledge, skills) in bold as well though. Also, change the dots to checkmarks and add another question mark.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 10.57am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.03am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Walter,
That’s a lot better but when I said checkmarks, I had more of a chart in mind. A comparison between your strengths and Jodie’s. The current layout allows one to question, “Yes, but which of these strengths does Jodie also have?”
I’d make it a bit more obvious that she has none. Also, as your five key points are meant to be strengths, not essays, I’d lose everything but the words in bold. The simpler you make it, the less there will be to explain. The word ‘quickly’ won’t work like that so change it to ‘speedy’ and change ‘unattended’ to ‘untethered’, they mean the same thing. The word ‘why’ in the title is also a bit superfluous. The whole title is superfluous really. Remove it and just have a large VS between your names. It will be a lot cleaner.
Also, if you wanted to push a point, you could have Jodie’s name written in Comic Sans. It will add a subtle visual statement regarding her lack of typographic experience. That’s up to you though.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.08am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Checkmarks like a chart?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.12am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Yes, exactly. Unless you’d prefer a bar graph. Also, add a cloud background.
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.35am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Not sure about a cloud background.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.39am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Mike likes cloud backgrounds and you only get one first impression.
One issue though, ‘experience’ and ‘knowledge & skills’ are the same thing so I would change ‘knowledge & skills’ to ‘understanding’, and change ‘experience’ to ‘wisdom’. Also, change ‘degree’ to ‘equipped’.
Once you’ve made these changes, it should be good to go.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.51am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
I had to reverse the type because you couldn’t see it otherwise. I haven’t got time to make any more changes but I think it looks pretty good. I could make the background a bit lighter though.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.53am
To: Walter Bowers
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
I wouldn’t mess with perfection. I’d say good luck but you won’t need it.
David
From: Walter Bowers
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 11.56am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pay
Thanks.
From: Mike Campbell
Date: Monday 17 August 2015 12.37pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Walter’s powerpoint presentation
David,
Can I see you in my office when you have a moment?
Mike
