I've always wanted a tattoo. The problem is that I have always considered people who get tattoos as sheep.
Especially those that go in and order number fourteen off the wall of a dolphin for example.
I know a fat guy named Mark Shapiro who recently got a huge tribal tattoo on his shoulder. The only tribe who would ever have him as a member is some kind of pastry eating tribe so it was a bit of an odd decision. It doesn't make him look tough or edgy, it makes him look like he lost a bet. He added a bunch of Monster Energy Drink stickers to the back window of his Ford Fiesta around the same time so perhaps he's just going through a phase. Someone recently told him he looks a bit like Vin Diesel which could have something to do with it. He doesn't look like Vin Diesel though, he looks more like a large dwarf baby with partial Down syndrome. He’s somehow quite popular with the ladies though. Homeless ladies without teeth mainly. They use the free Wi-Fi at Starbucks, after stealing all the sugar sachets, to swipe right on Mark’s Tinder profile photo of him holding cans of food.
Regardless, I decided that if I am going to be a sheep and get a tattoo, there is only one choice of tattoo to be permanently branded with.