A week in the life of a busy Creative Director.
Hello, my name is Thomas and I run a small design agency in Adelaide, South Australia.
You've probably heard of me as I'm pretty famous and am known as the Design Guru of Adelaide. Everybody calls me that. You can call me Tommy though. Or the Design Guru of Adelaide if you want. Just try it and see how it sounds. No? Okay, I wasn't asking you to call me that, I was just saying most people do. It's not a problem, Tommy then. Although, if you say 'the Design Guru of Adelaide' a few times in your head, you might find you prefer it because it rolls off the tongue quite well.
Okay, Thomas then.

Monday

10.30am

At work early this morning as I started writing a novel last night and I'm keen to check if any publishers have emailed me with expressions of interest yet. I'm half way through and so far it is brilliant. It’s about a guy who runs a design agency during the day but at night is a karate soldier with psychic powers. And he can fly and has lots of girlfriends.
I’m currently looking through photos of me for an appropriate one to use on the cover. One that says 'creative genius' but at the same time 'hey'. I will probably use one where I am sitting on a chair as it will remind people of that statue of the guy thinking called Guy Thinking.

12.30pm

Just ordered a new MacBook Pro as my current one is almost six months old and I can't be expected to play Solitaire at these speeds. Some of the designers complained that they also need a new computer, but I spend four to five hours each day sitting behind them watching what they do and have witnessed first hand Photoshop running fine on the Macintosh IIci they share. I just upgraded it to 8Mb a few years ago and am far too busy to be dealing with their petty issues.

1.30pm

Spent the last hour writing another chapter of my novel. It now spans several millenia - from the nineteenth century to the twentieth - due to the main character being immortal. Having him first jousting redcoats then, later in the novel, time travelling robots, provides contrast and a break from the parts where he has lots of girlfriends.

2.30pm

Have been sitting behind the staff having brilliant ideas. I think of things all the time that are brilliant. What is it called when you are a sideways thinker? I am one of those. I usually have about ten sideways ideas per minute. I should probably sit the exam for Mensa but I'm just too busy. Just this morning, while shaving my back, I thought how great it would be if my shaver had an mp3 player built in as I was in the mood for a bit of Seal. I'd call it the Rave'n'Shave.

3.30pm

Heading out for a drive shortly to buy a kite as they are a great way to meet new friends. I have a meeting scheduled but told the secretary that if the client comes in before I get back, to talk about me and say, "I’m surprised you managed to get an appointment with him as he is in high demand and is known as the Design Guru of Adelaide."

4.30pm

Got back in time for client meeting, we agreed on a package that saves me 20% on local calls so it has been a successful day. Heading home as I am exhausted and Jumper is on cable.

Tuesday

12.30pm

Just got into the office as I was up late watching the movie Jumper and downloading the iPhone developer’s kit. I played a lot of Space Invaders on my Commodore 64 when I was young and have a brilliant idea for an app that will make millions of dollars. It’s a bit like Space Invaders but more like Frogger. With Braille touch screen for the blind.

1.30pm

Spent an hour writing another chapter of my novel. The main character now works as an international fashion model and he has the ability to transport himself to any location on the planet as long as he has been there before.

2.30pm

As my creative energies are too large to be tethered to one discipline, in addition to becoming a famous author, I've decided to win Australian Idol this year. I have my first singing lesson in half an hour. My voice is like one of those mermaids that sings to sailors as they crash onto rocks. But a man version with deeper voice and legs. Although I have the look they are after and perfect pitch and tenor, it makes sense to get a few pointers from a professional beforehand.

3.30pm

I’ve decided not to win Australian Idol this year, as I'm far too busy.

4.00pm

Long day. Heading home after I send out an email to all staff reminding them to refer to me as the Design Guru of Adelaide and describe working with me as inspiring when they are talking about me with people at the pub or during family dinners.

Wednesday

11.00am

Late one last night. Decided to go to the pub and stayed for a few drinks even though everyone I knew left when I got there. Guys are uneasy being around me with their girlfriend because they know she is thinking about me naked. Probably lifting weights or dancing. Luckily, there was a girl at the bar by herself so I sat down and talked to her about me. Surprisingly, she had not heard of me even though I am very well known and people refer to me as the Design Guru of Adelaide. Unfortunately, she had to leave before she could finish reading the news clippings about me that I keep in my pocket but she did agree to give me her mobile number, - 0123 456789 - so I will ring her tonight and read them to her.

1.40pm

Staff member just mentioned that six years ago I said, "I have full body cancer with only one year to live and that's why everybody needs to work quicker." I told them that I never said that and to stop making things up. Anyway, I was talking about another guy who had cancer. He’s dead now so they should show some respect.

2.00pm

Leaving early today to ring the girl I met last night. She will probably want to meet for a drink or come over to my place so I need to collate the photocopies of news clippings and magazine articles about me into a scrapbook for her and shampoo my chest. I also need to make a mix tape of my favourite songs. I know most of the dance moves to Disco by the Pet Shop Boys so will start slow with that before popping and locking for her with some Depeche Mode.

Thursday

9.30am

Early night last night. Walked into the office talking on phone, telling client I appreciate him for saying I was the most creative and brilliant person in Australia, when the phone rang. Explained to staff that my phone is one of the new iPhones that rings while you are on a call to let you know that someone else is calling and they just haven't heard of it yet. Because their phones are old. I got cut off at the same time it rang. That's the only reason I stopped talking and looked surprised.

10.30am

Finishing up the final chapters of my novel. It is now set in a post-apocalyptic future where the polar ice caps have melted, water covers the planet,and people live in floating towns. The main character has gills on his neck and grows tomato plants.

11.00am

I have a meeting to go to in an hour and need to go shopping for something nice to wear as my green trucker hat doesn'tt go with my canvas shoes. I should start my own t-shirt website because I have lots of brilliant ideas for t-shirt designs and people would be happy to pay upwards of two hundred dollars per shirt if they knew I had designed it. Like Ed Hardy. I should also make a website where people can buy my semen. I’m like a pedigree racehorse or a cow with award winning udders. I'd do that if I weren’t so busy.

4.30pm

Just got back from a four hour meeting with a potential client in regards to designing a business card for them. I’m very excited about where this could lead, as they are the eighteenth largest supplier of gravel in Adelaide. I will send them a quote in a few weeks as they take a long time to write.

I could tell they were impressed during the meeting as they continually rose, in a manner that can only be described as lengthy standing ovations, then sat down again when I kept talking. One of the female clients was very attracted to me so I showed her photocopies of my Smart Roadster specs and explained what all the graphs meant. I will send her an email now and tell her my last girlfriend died of cancer so that she knows I am available, and I'll attach a photo of me sitting in my car. And one of me wearing jogging shorts so she knows I am athletic.

4.35pm

Heading home as I'm exhausted both physically and mentally after two client meetings in as many months.

Friday

10.30am

Walked in and had an argument with Shannon. I don’t see why I have to justify myself to her. It’s my business and therefore my company Visa card. I don't appreciate being questioned. Obviously there has been some kind of mistake and we have been charged $29.95 per month by teenshemale.com in error. It’s not her job to ring the bank and question the purchase when I told her I would take care of it even though I am extremely busy.

10.35am

I put a password on my computer. Used a random selection of 128 numbers and characters so as to make it impossible for the secretary to guess. Will not write it down anywhere in case she finds it.

1.30pm

Completed my novel. It's the best book ever written and will become a best seller within weeks. This will mean I'll be busy doing promotional tours and replying to people who have written thanking me for sharing my gift, so I need to tell my staff that I will not be here as often to give them the creative guidance they rely on. It will be upsetting but they have to understand that I owe it to my fans to do book signing tours and appear on Dancing with the Stars.
To celebrate the completion of my novel, I invited the staff over to my place to listen to stories about me but they all had prior plans.