Articles

Roz Knorr loves Adelaide, has homes in countries all over the planet and owns a private plain.

I could not locate an actual photograph of Roz but the one I have constructed above by photo shopping an unattractive woman's face onto a chubby man's head is probably pretty much spot on. No such artistic license, however, has been applied to the email exchange.
Roz Knorr, a pseudonym I will assume unless she is part Klingon, does not like Adelaide. Or perhaps it is just me. Or men in general. She certainly doesn't like my website and seems to have missed the point that there are plenty of other websites discussing sweat shop children and how man has ravaged Mother Earth. Sometimes it is nice to have a pointless distraction. We can't spend every waking hour kissing trees and throwing paint at women wearing fur coats. Roz obviously missed the entry page telling her to go away. I should probably make the type larger or change it to read 'Attention women golfers, move along, nothing to see.'

Adelaide:

Famous for having a silver ball sitting on top of another silver ball and being the highest producer of cannabis and serial killers in the country, Adelaide is only an hour's scenic drive from the capital of Australia, Tasmania


Happy Adelaide folk.


Adelaide International Airport.


Frewville McDonald's. Home of the "Pay for 6, get 2" deal.


Average Adelaide home.


Gay. Balls are touching.


From: Roz Knorr
Date: Monday 12 October 2009 11.56am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Adelaide loser

Only in a backwards town like Adelaide would you get dickheads who would write crap like you. You cant even write well. Thats the result of the sub standard backwards schools in Adelaide. Writing about monkeys and children starving. Spend a few nights with the Salvos feeding the homeless so you can write about that and at least people will go to your site and learn something loser. Little dick typical male. Face it when it comes to Adelaide it is full of dumb backwards hick arseholes that are totally devoid of social consciousness or culture.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 12 October 2009 12.38pm
To: Roz Knorr
Subject: Re: Adelaide loser

Dear Roz,
Thankyou for your email. I apologise for the delay in replying. As you mentioned, Adelaide is a tad behind other cities not only in regards to consciousness and culture but also technology. Your email was received by Adelaide's only computer, a 386 housed in the public library powered by a duck on a treadmill, before being relayed to me by Morse code. Should you wish to contact me direct next time, my home number is dot dot dash dot dash dot dot dash.
Regards, David.
From: Roz Knorr
Date: Tuesday 13 October 2009 9.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

Typical coming from such backwards piece of crap city like Adelaide. You just proved my point. LOL! Your reply shows what a bacwards hick you and everyone who lives in Adelaide is. I have homes in Hong Kong, Britain, Paris, USA, & Hawai, as well as Australia. I grew up in a house with 11 servants & a chaufer. And honey I have friends living in Laurel Canyon, & California who earn $400,000 a day in rock & roll. Poor Adeliade. No culture and no class. Be careful not to be a victim of a hit & run. Accidents happen all the time, so much cheaper in Adelaide. One phone call...
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 13 October 2009 9.51am
To: Roz Knorr
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

Dear Roz,
Thankyou for your concern and kind offer but I should be fine for the moment in regards to monetary based injuries. Recently, I set up a stall at a women's golfing convention with a banner stating "Punch me in the head for one dollar." I made eight hundred and thirty dollars that day. Tax free. With the money raised, I intend to buy a bigger stall for next year's convention.
It must be nice to own several homes all over the planet. For many years I dreamt of experiencing the culture of Paris until I realised there would probably be a lot of French people there. They should do something about that. Contrary to your statement regarding Adelaide having no culture though, there is actually a large and thriving artistic community here but very little art is produced due mainly to the artists spending all their time displaying their scarves to each other and attending gallery exhibitions for the free alcohol, food and the chance to wash their armpits in the venue's bathroom.
Regards, David.
From: Roz Knorr
Date: Tuesday 13 October 2009 2.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

You wouldn't know a thing about culture being from Adelaide. You are a bunch of inbred filthy convicts and are all a bunch of no hoppers. I won't even quote you how much money I make from my busenesses that I have in New York, Britain or Japan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 13 October 2009 3.02pm
To: Roz Knorr
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser


Dear Roz,
Actually, while Adelaide may commonly be referred to as the murder capital of Australia due to having more serial killers per capita than any other city in Australia, it is ironically the only Australian capital city not founded by convicts. Adelaide is also referred to as the City of Churches due to the fact that there is a church on every corner. It is not surprising therefore that Adelaide also has a long history of child pedophilia. Another common misconception is that due to Adelaide's high number of churches, the city must be a very religious one. In fact, the number of churches is only necessary in order to cope with the number of funerals as a result of the number of murders that take place here.
You are also mistaken in regards to Adelaide containing no hoppers. I myself regularly hop. I am, in fact, the founder of the Adelaide Hopping Club, an organisation that meets each Tuesday to hop. We have so many members that it is often standing room only at the meetings. Which is obviously not a problem. Recently, we have been planning an event in which we intend to hop non stop from Adelaide to Sydney to raise not only awareness for the sport of hopping but also funds for a new charity we have set up called The Roz Knorr Hopping Foundation which will provide poor people with no legs a single artificial leg and accompanying hopping instructional video inspiringly titled 'Never Give Up Hop'.
Regards, David.
From: Roz Knorr
Date: Wednesday 14 October 2009 11.16am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

You wouldn't know the first thing about charity or giving back to the community. People from Adelaide don't do anything for the underprivileged in society. Go read Naomi Klein's 1999 book "No Logo" and join the ant-globalist movement & start defacing corporate posters in public places with political statements, or visit a sweat shop with 7 year olds in Mexico & blog about it. Until then you are just another selfish parasite taking from this planet. Watch your back. I leave for New York in my private plain this afternoon so I don't have any time for anymore of your pathetic hick town nonsense. Goodbye David.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 15 October 2009 11.55am
To: Roz Knorr
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

Dear Roz,
Thankyou for excellent suggestions. Unfortunately I cannot afford the airfare to Mexico and even if I did, I do not know any seven year olds to take. It's a pity as I have heard that you can get really cheap soccer balls there. Coincidentally, I too have a private plain. It is actually more of a field but going by the amount of back-packers discovered buried in the area, quite private regardless. I was sitting in the middle of it reading your correspondence regarding poorly written books and eighties political statements when I realised you raise a valid point. I organised a garage sale, in which I sold my neighbours outdoor furniture, and used the proceeds to move to Nimbin. I spent today rubbing my body with crystals, dancing to Fleetwood Mac, writing poetry about rain drops and braiding my leg hair to form rope which I have used to construct dream catchers to sell at the local commune shop. As the commune rejects the concept of money and only accepts happy thoughts in exchange for goods, I am writing this using my laptop powered by karma as an alternative energy source. This email is being sent with an attachment of love.
Regards, David.
From: Roz Knorr
Date: Friday 16 October 2009 10.41am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

Dangerous ground loser. You do not know who you are dealing with. I know a lot of people.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 16 October 2009 11.09am
To: Roz Knorr
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

Dear Roz,
Yes, I realise you must know many people, I calculate the six real estate agents, pilot and co-pilot of your private plain, your rock and roll friends making $400,000 a day plus the eleven servants and chauffeur makes a total of twenty two. I am assuming the chauffeur is the person you intend to have me run over by, if not then twenty three. This total does not of course include the people you know from the Salvation Army, ant-globalist movements, sweat shop owners, the shop assistant at your local XXL Golf Pants'R'Us or members of the K.D. Lang Fan Club.
Regards, David.
From: Roz Knorr
Date: Friday 16 October 2009 2.01pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser

Email me agian and you will be sorry. Bye.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 16 October 2009 2.07pm
To: Roz Knorr
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Adelaide loser



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