Burning Bridges to Light the Way by David Thorne

ISBN 978-0-578-59846-8  
David Thorne
Release Date
December 2019

An all new release by New York Times Bestselling author, David Thorne. 240* pages of brand new material.

"Gut-wrenchingly funny. An immensely entertaining read.”
The Australian


Please allow 2 to 3 days shipping within North America.
International shipping times may vary.

* Expanded Australian Edition


"Just so you know, this isn’t burning a bridge, this is declaring war. I did not give you permission to use my full name or write about putting golf balls in my anus. I’m meeting with my lawyer Thursday so expect to hear from them shortly. You fucked with the wrong person this time dipshit.”

Wayne Redding

“Our wedding wasn’t Harry Potter themed you fucking liar. It was Magic Under the Stars. There was only one wand to open the ring box. Guests didn’t have to bring their own wands. Why do you make this shit up? Also, there’s no such superhero as Dark Wing.”
Brandon Evans

“I’ve never had sex with a homeless woman behind a dumpster in my life. How is that even funny? It’s not. It just comes off as you being jealous of my exciting sex life.”

Mark Shapiro

"I read the first chapter of your book last night. Watch your back loser. It will be when you least expect it. They weren’t even my sister’s underwear, they were my cousins.”

Ray Paley

"No, I’m not cross about the stuff you wrote about me. Why would I be? I couldn’t care less. It’s not like you have a lot of readers. Joseph was a bit cross though. We’ve decided that we are going to write our own article about you. Your fans deserve to know the truth. We’re going to write about the time you took Adderall for the first time at last year’s SVBA event and asked Billy Robinson if he has Down’s Syndrome then drove your car into a ravine.”

Lori Shell

"Laugh it up funnyboy. You won’t be laughing when I snap your skinny neck with a karate chop.”
Gary Wright

"Why did you write that I was arrested for shoplifting from Sephora in your book? I don’t want everyone to know about that. You really are a cunt. I’m glad I spat in your coffee now. Like at least 20 times over the last few years.”

Melissa Peters

"Of course I’m annoyed. You wrote that I never move and described me as a human sized slug but with more mucus and less ambition. I’m having a chilli cookoff at my house next Saturday and you’re not invited. Sad to be you.”

Cody Harenech

“I've spent the morning searching for your book online and leaving bad reviews. I’ve written over 10 so far. Hope it costs you a lot of money in sales. Payback’s a bitch isn’t it? And FYI, I wasn’t masturbating while watching Lazy Town. My hands were dry and I was rubbing lotion on them and then I had an itch on the inside of my leg. I wasn’t even watching Lazy Town, it was a Cooking By the Book Lil Jon remix on YouTube.”

Ben Townsend

"Thanks for the book. I run out toilet paper and used your book to wipe my ass. Sorry your funiture is uncomtable and ugly.
We cant all have good tates.”

Ian King

“Not cool. The one thing I asked was that you don’t mention drugs. That entire story is about taking drugs and you said that I fucked a fat girl. She wasn’t fat. I told my dad that you made the entire thing up except the part about him hitting you with the television aerial. He says you’re banned from his house for the rest of your life and he’s going to email you an invoice for the ceramic rooster.”

Thomas Harrer

“I’m not going to read your stupid shit. You still owe me $15 and a chainsaw asshole.”

Clarence Shillinger


Latest News

Out now. Burning Bridges to Light the Way features all new, never before published content.


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