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Shannon's Colour Coded Coffee Cup Cleaning Chart |
Due to there being an unprecedented twelve coffee cups in the sink at work, it is understandable that Shannon would be outraged by this intrusion on her Facebook and looking out the window time. Although kitchen duties may be an expected part of her role, there's no reason why everyone shouldn't reschedule work/client commitments and do their part to ensure Shannon's social networking and gazing routine is not interrupted.
From: Shannon
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 10.12am
To: Staff
Subject: Coffee cups
Hi
There were 12 coffee cups in the sink this morning. Could everyone please wash their coffee cups after using them.
Thanks, Shan
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 10.19am
To: Shannon
Subject: Re: Coffee cups
Morning Shannon,
My apologies. Those coffee cups were mine. I have a busy day scheduled so decided to take all my coffee breaks at once this morning rather than separate breaks throughout the day. I'm experiencing severe heart palpitations but I'm also typing at four hundred and seventy words per minute so should be able to knock off early.
Regards, David
From: Shannon
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 10.31am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Coffee cups
I wasn't saying they were all your coffee cups I was just saying that I shouldnt have to wash twelve coffee cups when I don't even drink coffee. People should wash their own coffee cups or at least take it in turns to wash them.
Shan
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 10.42am
To: Shannon
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Coffee cups
Shannon,
You raise a valid and not at all uninteresting point. Perhaps you could construct some kind of chart.
A roster system would enable us to work in an environment free of dirty coffee cups and put an end to any confusion regarding who the dirty coffee cup responsibility lies with.
David
From: Shannon
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 1.08pm
To: Staff
Subject: Kitchen Roster
Hi everyone. I discussed a kitchen roster with David and feel it would be fair if we took it in turns to do the dishes.
I put the roster in the kitchen above the sink so everyone can remember.
Thanks, Shan
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 1.22pm
To: Shannon
Subject: Colour coded coffee cup cleaning chart
Shannon,
I see you've colour coded the coffee cup cleaning chart. While I appreciate the creative effort, the light salmon colour you have chosen for my name is rather effeminate. While I'm sure you weren't inferring anything, would it be possible to swap colours with Thomas? He has a nice dusty blue.
Thank you, David
From: Shannon
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 2.17pm
To: Staff
Subject: Updated kitchen roster
Hi
I changed David's colour to blue on the kitchen roster. Thomas is now green. I'm currently pink but I might change it to yellow.
Shan
From: Thomas
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 2.24pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: What the fuck?
David,
What the fuck is this email from Shannon? I'm not doing a kitchen roster. Was this your idea?
Thomas
From: Lillian
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 2.26pm
To: Thomas, David
Subject: Re: Updated kitchen roster
What's this kitchen roster thing? Did you agree to this?
From: Lucius
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 2.30pm
To: Thomas, David, Lillian, Shannon
Subject: Re: Updated kitchen roster
I only use my cup with the ducks on it. How come I have to wash everyone elses cup? Nobody washes mine. I don't expect them to. This is bullshit.
Lucius
From: Simon
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 3.37pm
To: Thomas, David, Lillian, Shannon, Lucius, Gina
Subject: Re: Kitchen Roster
Did everyone else get the email from Shannon about a kitchen chart? How long did that take her to do?
I can tell you right now it's not happening.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 2.40pm
To: All Staff
Subject: Re: Updated kitchen roster
Everyone,
Do you feel it's fair that Shannon should have to wash everyone's coffee cups? Apparently this morning there were twelve coffee cups in the sink. I was going to schedule a staff board meeting this afternoon to discuss the issue, but luckily Shannon has prepared a colour coded coffee cup cleaning chart for us rendering a staff meeting unnecessary.
We should thank Shannon for taking the initiative and creating a system that will empower us to efficiently schedule client meetings and work commitments around our designated coffee cup cleaning duties. If at any stage our rostered coffee cup cleaning commitments coincide with work requirements, we can simply hold the client meeting in the kitchen. We can wash while the client dries.
Today it may only be twelve coffee cups but tomorrow it could be several plates and a spoon. Then where would we be?
David
From: Thomas
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 2.56pm
To: Shannon
Subject: Kitchen stuff
Shannon, I don't need a chart telling me when to wash dishes. I'm not going to stop in the middle of writing proposals to wash coffee cups. David is being a fuckwit. I only use the orange coffee cup and I always rinse it out after I use it.
If we have clients here and they use coffee cups then it is expected that you wash them as part of your job.
Thomas
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 3.09pm
To: Shannon
Subject: Rescheduling coffee cup duties
Shannon,
I realise I'm rostered for coffee cup cleaning duty this afternoon, but I've not had time to familiarise myself with correct coffee cup cleaning protocols. I'm happy to reschedule my meetings tomorrow to undertake a training session on dish washing detergent location and washcloth procedures with you if you have the time.
I also feel it would be quite helpful if, prior to the training session, you prepared some kind of Powerpoint presentation. Possibly with graphs.
Will I need to bring my own rubber gloves or will these be provided?
David
From: Shannon
Date: Monday 17 August 2009 3.20pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Rescheduling coffee cup duties
Whatever.
