A special birthday message for Simon worth more than $6.95

Dear Simon,
When birthdays come around, many of us are reminded of where we are in life and other self obsessions but not me, I'm reminded of the present you gave me on my last birthday - the $6.95 (price tag still attached) book entitled 'Graphic design for beginners'.
I wracked my brain to think of a gift of equal worth but besides a used bus ticket perhaps or empty bic pen (which can be used to perform a trichotomy like in that episode of mash), everything on the entire planet has a higher value.
I therefore decided to make this page for you and as I swore i "would never do free work for you again", taking my hourly fee into account and the time it took to upload, minus the $6.95 present allowance, you now owe me $78.05


Emails from Simon after he saw this page:

From: Simon Dempsey
Date: Thursday 16 Nov 2008 12:06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Fuck you smartarse

Yes, very amusing (to a 12 year old). I actually thought it might be a nice message before I clicked on the link. Can you at least change that photo of me as I look like a fucken ape. And the book was more than $6.95 you bullshit artist.
From: Simon Dempsey
Date: Thursday 16 Nov 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Moron

Now you have a fucken monkey as my photo. Is that supposed to look like me? I swear to god you are fucked.
From: Simon Dempsey
Date: Thursday 16 Nov 2008 12.42pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Nice haircut!

And you gave me a fucken coffee mug with the fucken nasa logo on it for my last birthday and I hate your space shit and dont even drink coffee. You are the only person who uses it. In fact I think you only gave it to me so you would have a coffee mug at my place. And now you have a caveman as my photo fuckhead. Change it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 16 Nov 2008 1.16pm
To: Simon Demsey
Subject: going by accepted scientific evidence

From: Simon Dempsey
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2008 1.24pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: going by accepted scientific evidence

Your dead.


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